Seventeen

When I was seventeen, I was certain I had arrived.

Everything was better than it had ever been before.  I wanted to freeze time where it was and just love my life for the rest of my life.

A few years ago, Brad Paisley released a song called "Letter to Me," in which he sings the words to a letter he wishes he could send to his seventeen-year-old self to encourage him to hang in there and make good choices so he could enjoy his future fully when he got there.  I've loved that song from the first time I heard it.  Recently, a line from "Letter to Me" has come to my mind as inspiration from the Spirit of God.

I'm about to go to bed for the night.  It's a little after 1AM, and all three of my bedlamites are asleep in their beds.  It was a hard fought fight tonight.  All day really.  Someone dumped water on the floor - two or three separate times - someone spent five minutes spraying the bathroom mirror with stain remover when he should have been washing his hands, someone wouldn't eat anything but applesauce for dinner.  But then there was the sweet little conversation I had with one when I caught her being sweet with her baby sister, and the time I got to spend on the phone while the other played quietly and contentedly with tinker toys in the living room.

Then I got to be there for my daughter, who is mostly teaching herself now how to use the toilet, when she woke up just a few minutes ago crying.  I was able to listen to the Spirit telling me she needed to use the potty.  Then I discovered that the diaper was dry and was able to celebrate with her for going successfully - while trying to keep her from falling asleep and off the toilet before I could re-diaper her and help her back to bed.  I got to be there with her and share in her success, even at a time when we both would rather have been sleeping.

As my thoughts moved at last toward bed time, the song line from the climax of "Letter to Me" came to my mind and made me smile "these are no where near the best years of your life."

That's right, seventeen-year-old Ashley, you have no idea what you're in for.  It's heart-rending, and it's messy, but it's soul-expanding.

And it's awesome.